So wedding planning is in full swing and I'm not really sure how it happened so fast. I was more than prepared to sit on my engaged ass for a couple years and mindlessly pin a bunch of crap on pinterest, but apparently I was the only one who had this idea and the very first thing I learned about having a wedding is this:
The wedding isn't really yours.
Now I'd love to say I am one of those responsible people who has been saving money for a wedding my entire life and I did, in fact, start saving a few times as a kid, however Malibu Barbie is a greedy bitch and her constant demands for the latest in fashion ensured that I would never get very far in the savings department. I may have accidentally bought a Prada purse somewhere along the way as well, but that's neither here nor there.
That being the case, I have to rely on the help of family to fund this palooza, which means they get a say. How much of a say has yet to be determined, but I will tell you that I became a member of a local Catholic church yesterday and if the Catholic church and I were in a relationship on Facebook it would read, "it's complicated." Nuff said about that.
Another thing I've learned while beginning to plan a wedding in Chicago is that Chicago is the 2nd most expensive place in the country to have a wedding (suck it New York!) which basically blows. It's also one of the most desirable places to have a wedding. All the venues, vendors, bakers, etc in Chicago know this, which means you have to beg, borrow and steal to get them to even take a phone call. It leaves you feeling like the fat pimply kid just trying to get a date to the prom... by paying someone.
Apparently the most important thing to start with is finding a venue. I was all prepared to jump head first into cake tasting, but I was advised that no, I would instead need to look at a bunch of buildings where, much to my dismay, there would be no cake.
After emailing every venue in the city that didn't look like a VFW dining hall we booked some tours and were on our way. Me, Dave and my big dopey $30 ULTIMATE WEDDING PLANNING BINDER from Barnes & Noble. There's pretty much no way to walk around with that thing and not look like a giant fucking tool.
I believe it was at this point I looked in the mirror, binder in hand, and said, "What have I become?"
I'll tell you who I became. I became someone who asks site coordinators about liability insurance. A month ago I didn't know that even existed, but after consulting THE BINDER, I learned a whole mess of things that now run my world and I have yet to eat a single bite of delicious cake.
Shortly after getting engaged, at a point when I had only just dipped a toe in the wedding planning pool, Dave and I were off to a (long before planned) trip to Vegas.
I'm not going to lie. I thought about it.
I mean the whole city pretty much screams, "Get MARRIED!" Well, to be fair, it screams "GET A HOOKER," but I'm pretty sure the marriage thing is right behind that. My dad was all for the idea (for obvious reasons,) but I'm pretty sure it would piss off quite a few people so I gambled a bunch and drank free engagement champagne instead.
Side Tip: if you're ever in Vegas with a friend, boyfriend, whatever, call the front desk and say you just got engaged. Instant Champagne! No proof required. I don't know about you, but I plan on getting engaged A LOT in the future.
So we won a few hundos in Vegas and it was back to the real world and wedding planning. I think I'm doing a pretty ok job keeping on top of things seeing as
...but only time will tell. I do have some phone calls set up with wedding planners in the next couple days and we'll see how much involvement I enlist them to have.
When I was a kid, like 3 or 4, my Grandma took me to Dairy Queen for my very first ice cream cone. I ordered vanilla, but before I was allowed to eat it my Grandma showed me how to lick from the side, keep both sides even and (for the love of God!) don't bite it. After a good 4-5 minute tutorial she handed me the cone. I looked at the cone, paused, then looked back at her and said, "If you're so good at it. Why don't you just eat it."
I probably deserved to have that cone shoved up my ass for a comment like that, but it very clearly portrays how I feel about speaking to a wedding planner, so we'll see if I just throw in the towel (also known as all my money) and just let one of the pros handle it.
Stay tuned... (that is, if you give a shit)
Toodle-oo!
Here's my favorite thing from the internet today.
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| Hating hipsters before it was cool, circa 1969. |
